All About Checking Out Therapy

Here are some questions that frequently come up for folks who are thinking about therapy.  If you have  a question that isn’t answered below, please contact me!

Isn’t therapy just like paying someone to be a friend?

Although there are some parts of therapy that might feel like talking to a friend, therapy is very different from a friendship.  A therapist should be objective.  That is, they are not also getting swayed by gossip from your friends or teachers.  They are on your side.  They should be your advocate: they are on your side, to help you. They should look after your health and wellness first.  They are non-judgmental: They should be able to listen to what is happening in your life with an open heart and mind.  They keep things confidential.  Unlike your best friend, therapists are bound by law not to tell others what you’ve shared (except in certain rare situations). There is a code of ethics that guides a therapist to keep what is special about the therapeutic relationship safe for you.  Lastly, a good therapist should be trained to help others achieve emotional wellness.  They are trained to spot patterns, understand human emotions and know about how to help others make decisions and changes.  Of course, all of this is the ideal.  See my article on choosing a good therapist to help you choose someone who brings these qualities to the therapy room.

Do I have to be crazy to be in therapy?

Not at all!  A lot of people make use of therapy for everyday stresses, worries or problems.  From time to time, we all feel sad, worried or just don’t know how to deal with a situation.  Some of us want to talk to someone who can help us make a change in our life like getting better about studying, finding healthy friends or making a relationship work.  Some of us, too, have bigger concerns like depression or anxiety.  People come to therapy for a wide range of reasons.

Do I have to lay on a couch, talk about my mom and go to therapy for years?

Not anymore.  Although, you can still find therapists who work that way, if that is what you want.  With me, you can come for as few or as many sessions as you want.  In fact, I use two special techniques called Brainspotting and EMDR that can help speed along your progress with many issues.  What you want to work on is up to you (and may or may not include your mom!).  Make sure to ask a potential therapist up front how they work and say what you do or don’t want to work on.

What if I don’t want to share all of my secrets?

It is natural to be a bit wary, whenever you meet someone new, about sharing everything about yourself.  And you will get a lot more out of therapy when you are able to talk openly and really give it a try. That is why it is important to build up a lot of trust in psychotherapy.  You have the right to wait to share something until you feel safer (some things are might never be totally comfortable to share).  It is the therapist’s job to help you feel safe and it is your job to look inside yourself and tell him or her what does and doesn’t help you.  In the end, you are never forced to say things you don’t want to.

How can talking help me?

The most important thing that will help you in therapy is your willingness to be open and to really give it a try.  A good therapist will help guide you so that you’re doing more than just talking; you’re learning about yourself, getting new tools to work with challenging thoughts and emotions, and practicing your new skills with someone you trust.  A therapist might also help you make plans to meet your goals or connect you with other resources.

However, there is a lot more to therapy than just talking.   For example, in art therapy you might draw or paint. There is music therapy, dance therapy, horse therapy, writing therapy, and a whole lot of other therapies where you might use movement, creativity, sound, the wilderness or even animals to help you.  However, in all of these, talking usually does play an important part.  Talking helps us understand our feelings better because when we talk, we organize our thoughts and feelings.  It also helps us let go of old thoughts or feelings that we thought we had to deal with alone.  Talking helps us build up trust with a therapist and that trust alone can be very healing.  I also use techniques called EMDR and Brainspotting which are simple, effective and proven ways to move through tough feelings with a lot less talking.

All of your questions are welcome.  Email me! I’m happy to set up a session to help you get started in therapy.